Emotional Intelligence is a vastly discussed topic that mainly concentrates on how emotions reflect on our everyday life, work performance and professional success.
Daniel Goleman, in his book – “Emotional Intelligence. Why it can matter more than IQ” gives a great summary of what role our emotions play and how they connect to decision making, anger management, anxiety, social skills, self-awareness, motivation, kindness, impulse control and many other qualities, important for our personal development. He gives examples of people’s lives from childhood until later age and provides detailed information on how everyone can learn to control his emotions and act in a smart way.
“It is not all about IQ” and I totally agree with that statement. How to learn and improve ourselves everyday depends on several main ingredients that we develop through our whole life.
Having confidence in oneself is not only about believing in our qualities and the value we bring to the world, but also the control and mastery of our body and mind, and the belief that we can succeed in the new projects that we overtake. Our sense of curiosity brings us the wish to constantly find out about new things happening around us and how we can contribute. The wish and capacity to have an impact on what is happening around us is called intentionality – acting with persistence and being positive about change. Self-control is one of the most important qualities that we gain with age. It is connected not only to the ability to control our actions, but also to our emotions and feelings. To relate with others gives us the chance to engage with other people and their emotions and to understand how they feel, and why they act the way the do. Our capacity to communicate or the wish to verbally exchange ideas, concepts, and emotions relates to the need to engage other people into our lives and be open to the world. Last but not least, putting ourselves not in the center of the attention is connected to our ability to cooperate and balance between our needs and the needs of our family, friends and colleagues.
What’s interesting though is that all of these can be incorporated in our everyday life in order to give us a better sense of personal and professional development and most importantly – feel accomplished and happy.
Interpersonal intelligence is the kind of emotional intelligence we most often have to use if we work in a dynamic people-related environment. There are 4 main things that are related to our interpersonal intelligence and working on them leads to better understanding of the outer world and our inner selves.
Coordinating, organizing, and involving large group is an essential skill of all people-related professionals and most importantly – leaders of organizations. This is a talent that can be developed as everything else. It is about getting out of our comfort zone and being able to be flexible, believe in our own capabilities and abilities to lead, and be role models.
First thing you can do in order to develop your organizational skills? Organize this year’s summer vacation for your group of friends – book hotels, arrange travel, make a program and don’t be afraid if others disagree, but think what you can do to make them believe in your decisions.
Being a mediator is a tough job, especially when we are too expressive of our emotions. However, the skills of the mediator are essential when it comes to excelling in deal making, understanding others and resolving disputes in a calm manner.
First thing to do in order to become a better mediator – take part in a company project that involves various opinions and people from different departments, and coordinate the work. It’s vital to understand all viewpoints and don’t take side, but make people come to a decision alone, only with the help of your navigation skills.
The art of the relationship with different people is one of the most important skills. It is about having the ability to communicate with people from diverse backgrounds, social status and hierarchy. These are the people who are best at reading emotions, relating to others and are seen as social bees that can always make a person smile.
First thing to do in order to develop your personal connection skills – try to talk to people who are not part of your social circle. Go out with old friends you have not seen in a while, go to gatherings where you don’t know anyone and engage in meaningful conversations. Be positive and be yourself.
Being able to detect and have insights about other people, how they feel, react and act in different situations is an important skill in order to ease intimacy and increase connection with others. These are the people that can always give you advice and the people in front of whom you are not afraid to share how you feel. They don’t judge, but they are only there to help you understand yourself.
First thing to do in order to improve your social analysis skills – start from within and understand yourself. Having insights about others depends on the ability to have insights about yourself.